It's a stake out.

The front of my apartment complex – or the first building of the complex – has retail shops located right under a few people’s pads. I do not know if you can call the dry cleaners, Kinko’s and a restaurant retail shops, but whatever. And excuse me, it’s not just a Kinko’s it’s Kinko’s OFFICE now. What’s the difference, really? Except one can buy binders, pens, post-its and shit while making copies at Kinko’s Office.

Anyway, yesterday evening I decided to check out the happy hour specials at the Mexican restaurant. The menu listed yummy shredded beef nachos for only $5.50, but the waiter talked me into getting the regular menu nachos, which came with all the sides, such as jalapenos, sour cream, tomatoes, guacamole. Of course, it’s not nachos without that. However, once the plate arrived there weren’t any tomatoes or guacamole in sight. No biggie because I was enjoying the weather on the patio, my four dollar house margarita with a tad bit of salt and eavesdropping on the couple next to me who were discussing where they should go from there.

The man suggests another place; the woman says she needs to make a quick phone call to home; the man sits extra still, holds his breath and remains quiet as the woman dials home.

“Hi honey, the girls from work and I are going to the office bar for drinks. Be home soon. I will {inaudible – DAMN}.”

She hangs up and the man chuckles, “So, heh, which girls from work?”

It is at that moment I realized the wedding rings they were both sporting weren’t the wedding rings they gave to each other those many years ago. I noticed the woman kept fidgeting with her big ass rock and that their body language was not that of a married couple either. They were on a booty call, uh date, while their spouses were at home. OH NO. But I wasn’t too surprised. I actually was eager for a gang of cameramen, bright lights, microphones and host Joey Greco from the reality TV series Cheaters to pop out of nowhere. GOTCHA!

I’m still waiting for something like that to happen since I’ve been living in Dallas. Ninety-eight percent of Cheaters' episodes are filmed in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, and 98 percent of the time I exclaim, “I know exactly where that club/bar/movie theater is located‼” So, one day I just know I will be casually pushing my shopping cart at the local grocery store when I witness this kind of scheming go down. I totally was hoping last night was it. Bummer.

It was not until I walked home from the restaurant when I realized SHIT, I did not check out the beer menu.